Being Who Me
foreword:-
It has been a while since I found any good post to read. In fact, most of the blog posts are craps. Mine is no less better. What I am trying to say is I hardly find people willing to share their thoughts and their personal feelings over the blogs anymore. Not until that day, my bromance Yap Thomas posted this.
Every now and then, I do many wrongs. But two wrongs doesn’t set it right. It might seems the best option to go at that time, when you look back it turns out to be the otherwise.
I often don’t recognize my wrong moves only until when it is too late. At times, I would be out of my own control and do the wrongs even when I know it. Perhaps I could be labelled as ignorant but they said, ignorance is bliss. How I wish. Should I labelled myself as happy-go-lucky type? I don’t think so.
Sometimes, whether I consider myself as a laid-back or what, I just don’t like to compete with friends. Not in any sense. Everyone always tell me that being selfish is okay. Partly because the need to keep the rice bowl. Ensuring there will be a food on the table the next time. I find myself too soft heart person. I couldn’t bring myself to the extend to be a cold blood man. Maybe one day that would change. In recent project I working with few friends, everyone wants to diversify their income. What not if given a good business model. None of them stated their expectations. After few months of working through the details, I realized they are the sleeping partners putting me on the forefront. Great. It was an opportunity for me to shine. With the commitments tying me down, I don’t want to take up the responsibility only to disappoint the friends. As Wingz said, if half-hearted, better not to take it up. Else I would have sleepless night.
Now, whenever I reflect on my situation all I begin to realize the ‘capitalism’ world that we are living. I remembered my former MD now the CEO told me one thing, “One day if you don’t have a job who will be there for you? Will your friends or family members helping you out? A day or two yes. But in the long run?” My point is, everyone is ought to take care of him/herself. It’s fine to be selfish to a certain extent. Like Thomas said, he got his own rice bowl to take care of. So am I. We might not seeing it eye to eye. That’s because each and everyone have different interest.
Hate. If you asked me who I hate. I have no answer. I don’t hate anyone. Even there is, it was a matter of seconds before I let it go. Holding grudge and hate is energy consuming. It drains the life out of me. Somehow I find myself silly. Let say I hate this person so much for putting me in this situation, then I would eventually find way to justify his actions. In the end, it wasn’t his fault anymore. It was nobody’s fault. Shit happens. Life moves on.
I always tell myself that when I do good things for people, I don’t expect them to remember it. In fact, I don’t even expect something in return. It was a gesture because I take liking towards you. Being able to know you, become friends has been a blessing for me. Wingz told me the other day, things like this don’t happens all the times. People will have change of priorities in life. Maybe I can afford doing all this crap because I still living alone. I don’t have a spouse or kids to take care of. One day, these will all change. Why don’t we put apart all the hates, grudges, ill-feelings away and spend time once a while. Catch up. I don’t want when I at my deathbed, I have regrets. I do have my bucket list. Friendship is one of them.
That’s why reading Thomas’s post, I told the #TKSSgang that I see myself in his post. Yes, I find Thomas and I shared the same view in life.
Lastly, I do appreciate and cherish the friends I have. Not many but they were there for me. One thing for sure, I know I am blessed with great friends in my entire life. From my primary school to marketplace. Even my customers helped me a lot. When you take out your heart, it leaves a hollow space. Your friends will fill it back with their hearts because they will.
I’ve just being me.
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