Pastor Chris Kam gave a good sermon. Based on Luke 19:18-27, he made it much more simple for us to digest the sermon despite that it is a very heavy topic.

The coin – have 2 sides, which reminds me of two-face character in Batman – The Dark Knight which is the recent blockbuster movie which gets the scale 10 out of 10.

The same thing is between the word Grace and Mercy. When we talked about grace, especially in the context of Lord’s Grace which means something given to us even when we are not deserve of it. On the other side of grace is the mercy. Lord being merciful toward us by holding back the punishment whenever we wronged him.

The parable stories of a man swimming across the swimming pool full of crocodiles can simply reflecting of our walk in Christ. It was the destination and the journey. Often we forgot that both come hand in hand. If we wanted to have that destination, we need to begin to embark the journey. I can’t go to KLCC if I don’t go out of the house. Hence for the journey, we need to enjoy it. That’s why we are here. Still on the face of the Earth even when we accepted Christ. Therefore the expectation of the journey is to (1) tell others about Jesus and His kingdom. (2) Grow ourselves into the light of the Lord – meaning preparing ourselves.

The sermon is pretty hard to convict since I know well about carrying the cross. Which is why the reason for the blog called for “Cross”

Pastor Chris told that there are 3 stages we need to be aware of in the life of discipleship.
First of all is that we need to deny oneself. Self-denial. As contrary to the pitches from the world – that focusing on oneself, rather becoming selfish. When we accepted the Christ, we are the willing servant of God. That is because we know that whatever work to be done in the favor of God is expected by the Lord. At the same time, we need to serve without complain and praise for. Why so? The reason was going back to the basic. We are sinner. We don’t deserve 2nd chance but because of the Lord’s love that we been given – to be His servant. Having said all that, it is just because it is our duty as the disciple of Jesus Christ.

God give us salvation, we in return gave Him our discipleship.
This means that we need to take up the cross. Carrying the cross is a complete dedication to Him. By doing so we should be ready to overcome all the sufferings. It’s not easy. I can assure you that as I have to go through the challenges.

Just have to follow Him. This making up of the willing obedience; where we set our eyes upon Him. (Hebrews 12:2)

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering…

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
‘I don’t believe that God exists.’

‘Why do you say that?’ asked the customer. ‘Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn’t exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can’t imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.’
The customer thought for a moment, but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:
‘You know what? Barbers do not exist.’
‘How can you say that?’ asked the surprised barber.
‘I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!’
‘No!’ the customer exclaimed. ‘Barbers don’t exist because
if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.’

‘Ah, but barbers DO exist! That’s what happens when people do not come to me.’
‘Exactly!’ affirmed the customer. ‘That’s the point! God, too, DOES exist!
That’s what happens when people do not go to Him and don’t look to Him for help.
That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.’

This morning I wake up to an image. A particular straight image or dream that is so vivid. It was surreal. The moment that image came into my very own mind I just got awake.

Before I went to bed, I had myself a prayer. Praying for the strength to carry on. When I saw that image, I was kind of surprised.

It begins with me receiving a sms from my phone. I took out the phone and saw 1 sms. It was from J that stated “Why both of you so .. ” and left hanging because I was using a flip phone. In order to read the entire full message I need to flip open the phone. Perhaps due to that, I opened my eyes and thus the entire images gone.

I wanted to believe that she was telling me that I was pretty “kan cheong” and less patience in it.

I called a friend and she asked me to pray about it. Maybe God will reveal more.

By seeing that image it gave me strength and hope. God has never forgotten about it. Maybe it was a way for Him to get in hold of me. But then again, dream can be 2-way things. Just have to pray hard about it anyway. It was just a feel that Lord is trying to tell me thing. My concern is feel can be misleading.

What to do? Pray about it lor.

I received a phone call from my mom last night. I didn’t picked it up until an hour later I returned her call. She was concern about me traveling back to the Penang upcoming next week. It is going to incur a lot of expenses since I might be traveling alone. I was thinking of taking few days off so I can spend some time on the road taking pictures.

Over the phone I told my mom that I saw my sister at my Uncle’s stall and she gained a lot of weight. After exchanging some thoughts, my mom added that my eldest aunt was pissed off at my sister. Apparently my eldest aunt was visiting my uncle earlier this year during the Chinese New Year. So she was giving out the red packets/angpao and one of them was to be given to my sister. However, when my sister received it she grab the angpao and tossed it on the floor right in front of my eldest aunt. My eldest aunt was surprised and angst about it. My mom doesn’t know where to hide her face. Me…. I just know that is the typical sister of mine.

In fact, she held hatred towards my eldest aunt. For what reasons, there are plenty. But one of the reasons is that she sided my uncle blindly despite the fact that things are seems as simple as that. There are a lot more behind every single things. Its beyond what she heard and knew about. As for me, there’s nothing I can do except for prayer. Pray for the Lord to be merciful towards her. Bless her with grace and mercy so she will learn of the grace and mercy. Forgiving others and love towards them. Embrace those who hurt her directly or indirectly.

It just troubles me to see the way she treated herself. And it hurts my mom too…

Dear Lord,

The sea is so huge. So vast and so deep. There are plenty of big fishes and shark around. I am just like a small turtle struggling to keep myself survival in this world.

Please bless me with Your wisdom and grace in dealing with these difficult people. I don’t want to lose myself away when dealing with them.

Thank You Lord.

Amen.

Being a Christian isn’t easy. Especially when it is required of us to carry the cross. I do know that Christianity is not just about religion but rather a relationship. A sacred relationship between a sinner (me) with his Creator (God).

After a year accepted Christ into my life, the walk wasn’t easy at all. Faced with tremendous trials and tribulations, I am doing all I can, with all the might I have to walk in faith, carrying His Cross. At times, I do fail. It wasn’t once. But what prompted me to do a blog in specially dedicated to my walk of faith is nonetheless but the deep emotion and the accumulated frustration I had.

This morning I wake up to ask the Lord why it is happening to me? Why is that whatever I asked for has not been given to me. Just because He did not give it to me, I decided to use my earthly knowledge and wisdom to make it happen. It turn out to be the same of result. Finally contented and giving up I am decided to totally surrender to His might. Let Him be the driver of my life. I am going to just leave it to Him for His arrangement.

But being a typical human, I still unable to let it go just yet. All I have to give and all I can do now is to allow Lord to come in and teach me. Find the level of contentment. Be happy and content with what I have. I must have faith in Him.

Amen.