Truly there are difference when one kept a journal. In my case, a blog per say. Looking at the archives since January 2008 till December 2008 which contains the parallel blog @ frostier.net, I learned that 2008 as it seems yet another year passed.

Quarter Life Crisis

During the first quarter of the year, things were aplenty to mention about apart from the General Election. Along the way was the Together Gather Party 2008 which failed to kick off due to commitment issues. Glad that it is finally up and running, with new committee members in place.
The second quarter gave me a fair share of shit. At least I painted it this way. I began to undergo what people called it ‘quarter life crisis’. Comparing to some very successful people, I am still nowhere to be found. Am I still searching for my true self, a question that I pose to myself unanswerable?

QLC

Tracing back my posts, I realized that I am not a bad writer myself. Through these posts, I rediscover myself and my thought processes. If it not for the blog, I never knew that I had once look at the life and its beauty in this perspective. This is totally awesome. When we recount back the trials we had been through, these phases we might call it, “striving, hurting, missing and even happiness”. Watching the movie In Pursuit of Happyness reminds me that everything in life is just a phase. It is part of the plan.
Still, when today my kheh mak tagged me over the facebook I read the note she left. It was heartwarming post that filled my eyes brim with tears. The love. Her love. Reminds me how I miss his presence at this moment in my life.

And as I go along the archives for 2008, I realized that I make a lot of friends. Online and offline. Far and near. Different kinds of them. I get acquaintance and the bonding starts. I found the brotherly love that I found amiss among my blood brothers. Perhaps the age gap and distance had it between us. This has been a truly blessing in disguise and for the first time, we went out lepaking @ Centro and for the International Extreme Autoshow in Bukit Jalil. Thanks dSaintx.

Brother

I have attended funerals, weddings, birthday bashes and even reunion in this 2008. Throughout these events, I reflect it upon myself how I want things to be like. With that, I begin to open up a new chapter of my life. I wanted to start fresh again by dropping off this old hizecool.com blog and move on to frostier.net.

Wedding Dinner

I read books that I never think I would. I found strength and courage; inspirations and determinations. I see myself differently. Whom a person dSaintx keep saying I full of emotions that I am being. Yes, I agreed to the max. With all these in place, I am able to feel hurt, pain and aghast. Nothing can be done but to endure. Only endure.
“Endure, master Bruce. You can take it” – from the Dark Knight

In the final quarter of the year, frostier.net was truly my haven. A few old posts were removed and some minor changes on the outlook of the blog. It was to make it cleaner and simpler. Hence, it is no longer a “crying child” as translated from hizecool but struck it as my own identity. Even that the last week someone over the ucpro commented that my nick sounded gay. Who cares when I have lived with the nick for years?

World Cyber Games

I was so down that I needed something more to remind me of life is not just about my own personal stuff but rather, the whole. The final quarter of the year had it coming. I had seen it coming and knew it is going to hit me hard. Went on few road trips just to put things behind but I learned that it is not that simple. You still need to face it when you back to reality. It is the same kind of shit. Just different places. At the same time, I had a kick of reality. How to deal with things when it turn out never be perfect? Like the fiasco of hotel booking, submerge in the sand and stuff? That is when we laid back and laugh at own misfortune. It is great to have friends like this. It bring the best and the worst in us. It built characters.

Friends

Recounting the days, I turned out to be grumpier and much hostile when the whole turn into the pieces during Ryan and Connie pre-wedding dinner night. It was my birthday that day and it was mid-autumn eve as well. Fairly to say it sticks with me till now. I have to let it go. It seeps into every single cell and killing me softly.

Wedding Registration

and when you think, the worthy of your causes and how to inspire you to act you need something far more greater, far more bigger. You begin by search within. What happened next is you wanted something for yourself. You owe yourself something. A dramatic life otherwise not even the actors want to be part of it. If Huei you are reading this, yes… camwhore with you if you coming for the next meeting.

Cake

As to end the year of 2008, attended Daniel and Jamie wedding dinner on the New Year eve. Everyone I knew barely asked me where am I going to celebrate and ushering the 2009. Simple. With my Latkyoks, we started the 2009 with everyone getting drunk. Bottles of Hennessy VSOP were emptied as the clock ticking strike 12 midnight. I wanted to get wasted so much that I fear of losing control. Knowing that it is not nice having to troubles the brothers to get me home, I contained myself despite the fact that I have all the valid reasons to do so. It was the second time that my request goes unfulfilled. It was my bros big day and there is no ‘I’ agenda that day. Bros come first.

Nibong Tebal

With that the year 2008 has ended. It was a closure which gives me a hanging ending. At least much more better way for 2009 to start with.

The unwritten ones
I recalled the day when I was having a TT with Francis. He asked what my achievements in 2008 were. I told him that I have no idea and probably no achievements since I had no resolutions for 2008.
The best thing is that he had a great view of things. Through him, I came out with some ups and some downs.
the ups
• started to pluck some strings
• getting a much decent means of transportation
• getting the new communication device over from a friend
• get to know more friends – from blogs, utopia and facebook
• able to take more alcohol inside my bloodstream
• more road trips (Cameron, Kuantan)
• minor promotion plus minor increments (have to mention since my ladyboss checking me on my facebook/blog nowadays and hope that she will increase more this year)
• kheh mak adopted me
• managed to read some books (cannot remember how many)
• got my first paycheck from adsense (April 24th)

the downs
• unable to start pirate radio station
• failed to get tgg2 to kick off in 2008
• getting called noob in dota still
• failed in buying a house
• pp, 916 and schemers plan failed

Given the above, I would say Year 2008 is a good year. Not bad but Year 2009 can be better. At least that by looking at it, I knew the ups is more than the downs.
So thanks for everything 2008, and Goodbye.

And Hello 2009!

Sitting here alone in the midst of the breeze cooling night, with occasionally listening to the ah beng in their “wiralution” breaking the silence of the night.

With the century old Jacky Cheung cd playing as background, I am wondering about the movie I just watched not long ago. It was the Get Smart starring Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway. It is just a DVD I took from Ivan when I dropped by his house this evening.

I have been sleeping the whole evening and wake up with something worth mentioning. I think the dream had its hidden message. I cannot even recall what I am dreaming of but rather a message pretty obvious inside my head.

Jotted it down in a notepad, it reflecting on the William Shakespeare famous sayings,” Life is nothing but a stage. And we are all actors in it” Hence, it is okay to be a drama queen or drama king. Sometimes when we choose the path of our choice, there is no right or wrong. I always there to believe that the moment we make that choice, it ought to be the best option we have at that particular moment. That spilt second thing. Of course when we looked back and to ponder that matters again, we might one asked ourselves why we decided on it back then. Often, we tend to forget that particular moments there were various factors or shall I say variables that constraints our choice making options.

So if I were to walk down the path of lesser, it should be the best option I ever had. Being it a drama king or just plain ol Joe, I would say it is for the best. We only lived once. If my own personal life is not that dramatic and entertaining as I wanted it to be, then there shall be no more reason I keep looking forward for the next sunrise. I shall not want to be part of this life. Neither had I wanted to life to see another day. If I ever to look it that morbidly, it should because I lost focus.
On the other hand, I am grateful that Tad came to my blog and commented on the post “making one counts” as I learned from him that it is crucial to make a lasting contribution. How did I make a lasting contribution? I have yet decided but I shall let those that know me to say something about it at my funeral. I am pretty sure that these people I cherished over my life will make a beeline to get their fair of chance to talk about it.

While having enough of procrastinating and pondering over the issue here, it is very important for me to get my ass to work on the upcoming tender submission. Tomorrow will be a very hectic day for me.
As this post reaching its own ending, I would like to end it with a simple closure.

When I begin to understand the role I am playing, I know that there is no NG and only take one. Play it with great pride and no regret. An actor whom had the script knows the ending and what is coming ahead. It is a challenge and always bear in mind that the role has impact on something greater and significant.

As i am preparing to leave the house, i was cleaning up my car. Discard the rubbish from the car. Suddenly i was approached by a man. He seems to be in a quite hurry. I looked about where he came from. He was riding the motorcycle. I took a look at the direction he pointed and saw a lady carrying a baby. He told me that he was in a hurry to the clinic or something. Need some extra cash. Specifically needed rm34. I obligate and gave him the money he wanted. He promise to return the cash by tuesday. I gave him my name card. Only if he will return the cash. Or it could be a scam job. Not sure but always to look the best in others.

As I stumbled upon the article from wired, I was fascinated by the things we often take it for granted. In this case would be the DNS engine, BIND9.

In June 2005, a balding, slightly overweight, perpetually T-shirt-clad 26-year-old computer consultant named Dan Kaminsky decided to get in shape. He began by scanning the Internet for workout tips and read that five minutes of sprinting was the equivalent of a half-hour jog. This seemed like a great shortcut—an elegant exercise hack—so he bought some running shoes at the nearest Niketown. That same afternoon, he laced up his new kicks and burst out the front door of his Seattle apartment building for his first five-minute workout. He took a few strides, slipped on a concrete ramp and crashed to the sidewalk, shattering his left elbow.

He spent the next few weeks stuck at home in a Percocet-tinged haze. Before the injury, he’d spent his days testing the inner workings of software programs. Tech companies hired him to root out security holes before hackers could find them. Kaminsky did it well. He had a knack for breaking things—bones and software alike.

But now, laid up in bed, he couldn’t think clearly. His mind drifted. Running hadn’t worked out so well. Should he buy a stationary bike? Maybe one of those recumbent jobs would be best. He thought about partying in Las Vegas … mmm, martinis … and recalled a trick he’d figured out for getting free Wi-Fi at Starbucks.

As his arm healed, the details of that Starbucks hack kept nagging at him. He remembered that he had gotten into Starbucks’ locked network using the domain name system, or DNS. When someone types google .com into a browser, DNS has a list of exactly where Google’s servers are and directs the traffic to them. It’s like directory assistance for the Internet. At Starbucks, the port for the low-bandwidth DNS connection—port 53—was left open to route customers to the Pay for Starbucks Wi-Fi Web page.

So, rather than pay, Kaminsky used port 53 to access the open DNS connection and get online. It was free but super-slow, and his friends mocked him mercilessly. To Kaminsky that was an irresistible challenge. After weeks of studying the minutiae of DNS and refining his hack, he was finally able to stream a 12-second animated video of Darth Vader dancing a jig with Michael Flatley. (The clip paired the Lord of the Sith with the Lord of the Dance.)

That was more than a year ago, but it still made him smile. DNS was the unglamorous underbelly of the Internet, but it had amazing powers. Kaminsky felt drawn to the obscure, often-ignored protocol all over again.

Maybe the painkillers loosened something in his mind, because as Kaminsky began to think more deeply about DNS he became convinced that something wasn’t right. He couldn’t quite figure it out, but the feeling stuck with him even after he stopped taking the pain pills. He returned to work full time and bought a recumbent stationary bike. He got hired to test the security of Windows Vista before it was released, repeatedly punching holes in it for Microsoft. Still, in the back of his mind, he was sure that the entire DNS system was vulnerable to attack.

taken from wired, things that I have learned from this incident are not limited to the advancement of the technology today but also how dependent we are on the network itself.

As I am blogging this post, I just recall that I miss out a lunch meeting with a customer of mine. It slipped through my mind. Severely. I ought to make a call the following week to reschedule the lunch appointment. Luckily it was not fixed.

I need to sleep.

Taken from John C. Maxwell

On the first day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes by and I’ll give you a lifespan of 20 years.” The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give you the other ten back,” and God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey, and God said, “Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a 20-year lifespan.” The monkey said, “How boring. Monkey tricks for 20 years? I don’t think so. The dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do, too, okay?” And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow. God said, “You must go out in the field with the farmer all day long, suffer under the sun, have calves, give milk to support the farmer. I’m going to give you a lifespan of 60 years.” The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. Let me have 20 and I’ll give you back the other 40.” And God agreed.

On the fourth day, God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry, enjoy your life. I’ll give you 20 years.” Man said, “What? Only 20 years? I’ll tell you what, I’ll take my 20, add the 40 the cow gave you back, the ten the monkey gave you back, and the ten the dog gave you back. That makes 80, okay?” “Okay,” God said. “You’ve got a deal.”

So, that is why the first 20 years of our lives we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. For the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everybody that goes by. You have just had life explained to you.

“Don’t let other people put limitations on you.”

At this particular seconds, I knew that the fact that I should get the hold of myself and start to pull myself together to work on several things that I need to prepare before the tomorrow comes. I should know that the WAR report, the pricing schedule and proposal are few things that requires my immediate attention. Once again, I have proved myself to be an ultimate procrastinator by doing nothing the whole day.

I begin to believe I am so good with it that I wanted to cut some slack out of it. Still my conscious mind told me that I cannot do such things. Especially to treat my clients and customers with unfairness. I should start doing my work soon.

Just that before I proceed with the actual content I wanted to blog about, would like to voice out here some matters with my principal. Yes. In fact, my colleague and I have been working with a consultant to come out with a tender document which is suppose to be fair and neutral requirements. And indeed it does except the guy just dump the rest of unrelated documents inside. My biggest concern will be talking to the principal. Many times, in fact a couple times when we talked to the same guy we were brushed off by the statement “We have someone inside working on it, you won’t be getting the discount level required”. To me, if there is someone working on it, why till today that none of these project fall into your hand? What are you trying to prove?

Anyway, coming back to the subject whereby I would really love replying my best buddy, Wilson on some of his comment on my facebook.

NP. i no count with him…. oiii dale where is the balance money u owe me… wakaka… joking joking.we are brother la NP… @.@”"

What balance? The 3 bucks went to the waiter tips. He never come back with the change also.

=.=”
he make me sick this month.. u better talk to him more .. haha…

I do wish that talking can solve that issue but it ain’t that simple. Or actually its very simple. Perhaps I just complicated the things. I will survive. Just give me eternity.

haha..u ask him lah.. whole month talk to ppl got bone come out 1… somemore is those sharp type..
I never thought of it as bone. Rather, I am trying my best to be very objective about matters. Hence, I ended up kind of being blunt.

@.@” dinasour bone… like whole world kiam ee yeh……

It me who kiam the whole world. So it is very tiring trying to pay off all these.. u know?

that why i say he make me sick this month… last time he is not like that…-.-” he change……

I changed. Change is good. It is just to the better or worse. It seems to the latter? Good grief, what I am last time?

haha.. u say so.. but he is happy last nite at the end..

Am i? I just glad I am induced with enough alcohol. Come when going to finish the rest of HVSOP? I did pay for it….

Bro, thanks !

I just finished reading “Lasting Contribution” by Tad Waddington, which I bought during the MPH Warehouse Sales a couple weeks back.

Frankly speaking, I have no idea what to expect as I began to read this book. That because I bought it for a cheap price. What you expect for a RM 10 book? Soon I realized that I had just embarked on a journey of discovery to learn the answer to a very important question: How can I make a contribution that lasts? No.

In fact, I learned a lot more about cause and effect. The cause for every single action and the causes for every single reaction. When it comes to what is happening, it starts to make me wonder, why it happen? To borrow a quote from the book, “This book was written to help you not in the way a hammer helps you to build a house, but in the way a blueprint does. It prepares you for action.”

The Nanny Diaries

It is a good book and in fact, I enjoyed reading it to discover a different side of me. What makes it worse was that I watched the “The Nanny Diaries” the night before. One of the most prominent quote I recall is “Who is Annie?” which relates me to “Who the f*ck is Dale?”

Another bud asked me a week ago if I am doing well or not. He said that I seems to having my midlife crisis. Yes and No. In fact, being alive today means a lot of hard work. Yet it depends on who are we comparing ourselves to. Am I right? Some might say, “Dale you are lucky enough for having this and that” Of course I do agree about that. Just that there are things in life when we expect it, it does not happen.

I do not know what am I mumbling about. Jerry used to say, “The other side grass is often greener”. Everyone likes the forbidden fruits. The taste of it. The temptation. As for me, I like it best with some icing and cherry on top.

On the other hand, looking at the sky. The blue sky with the white clouds, reminds me of a person whom keep looking at the sky. Nope. Not that kid that worries the sky will fall. But those people that had the vision to reach for the sky.

Bleargh. I have no idea what I am getting myself into.

Not feeling well the whole week. Coughing. Too much of thought.

Not work though. I still can manage it. At least I think I do. Some used to quote “Life is like a box of chocolates, you do not know what you going to get”
The thing is with life, it just like a series of surprises. Today you have planned well what it is going to be like. However as time passed by, the series of incident reflecting its effect on you. Things changed. Shit happens. So what?

So what

Some won’t

Some where

Some will

Just got to hang in there tight.

Tune to few songs lately.

more…

Not sure whether it is a big full day, I wake up to the alarm from my phone. Getting ready to go out to Traders Hotel in the morning, I get ready for the stuff.

I picked up a friend along the way and we headed to KLCC for breakfast before the designated point, which is the Traders Hotel. As we walked towards the Traders Hotel, we need to walk past the Kuala Lumpur Convention Center. Coincidentally, it was the ACCA award or something like that. Managed to pull a photo shot from the place, and while we were at it I took a bottle of mineral water over the counter table.

I assume that the water is for the organization which rent the lot to advertise the company or stuff. Later I found out that the mineral was sold for RM2 per bottle.

At Traders Hotel, we hang around at the business lounge with the KLCC view. The view was spectacular and breathtaking. Never ever in my life have the opportunity to take a good look of KLCC until yesterday. As we left the Traders Hotel, I went to the gents and found some stuff that I think I could bring back home. Among those displayed, I took the emery board. Not body lotion, or cotton buds.

On the way, we talked about a session aired over the radio sometime ago. A caller called in. It was about making short film or short clips. The radio dj asked the caller if he is creative enough to come out with 3 clips or so? The caller told that he will be making few independent short films. These are:-

• Little Keong A Day in the Restaurant
• Street Rats Larger than Cats
• Kuala Lumpur Largest Car Park

Basically, the first is about the cockroaches in the dining places. The second is pretty straight forward. Malaysia’s rats is larger than the cats. Finally, the largest car park in Kuala Lumpur can be found at the city center. The whole road stand still, traffic congestion is what the caller meant.

Once done, I dropped these friends at the place they were going while I continue my way to join Leroy for Wii Challenge at Aman Suria. Somewhere nearby there. By the time I reached there it was 30 minutes past 2pm.

For the next few hours, the Wii was the only thing we played till 7pm. At that time, it was about time for me to head to the wedding dinner at Jaya33. I reached the place thirty minutes later but the actual start time was 10 minutes before 9pm. It was getting pretty late and I was starving.

Nonetheless, the rest was history as my earlier post.

Now, I cannot sleep for sure as every few hours I will awake. In 6 hours time, CK and I will be heading to Klang for food. Ehm…Guess I will be missing the gathering organized by Bruce Lee this evening.

Drunk. Trying to put words into perspective. I managed to drive home safe. Once I reached home, at the compound I passed out till I awaken by the need to puke. I do not usually drink till I am being controlled by the alcohol.

Just only today. When i attend wedding dinner, usually I control. I never wanted to get myself piss fully drunk. Never. It never felt good.

I just think I did. After 4 years. When the graduation time, I just keep drinking because I know that my friend going to send me hoime. Just today, I am alone and the feeling of driving home drunk was not a good one. Luckily I managed to reach home unscathed. In one piece.

Luckily I still managed to remember that I made 3 stupid phone calls. Then I was trying very hard to walk up the stairs back home. After I reached home with the little effort opening the locks, I just crashed to my bed.

Slowly, I called names. just repetitiously did and somehow the name echoed in my brain. Ahhh.. wonder of alcohol. I felt like puking now. Hangover….

No wonder the people told me that, when one is sorrow, do not drink because alcohol will make one person felt sorrower. *roll eyes*

Black Label, Johnny Walker. ehm…..

What you want to achieve in life? Last night, Wilson was at my house again. This time I had to give him a rain check because we did not manage to go to Poppy for clubbing. The lady whose suppose to bring us there decided to bail out. She said that she was having headache and does not feels like going anyway. Being me, I just accommodate to her request and send her home.

Fast forward, Wilson and I ended up watching a concert from a DVD. We did not say much. But both of us knew that I wasn’t in a good shape… as in mentally.

In fact, the night before he was also at my place. We went out for dinner and cruise around the city before ended up at my place drinking Coke. We stopped by Sanctuary for a tour - Halloween tour. After that, we go back to my place and chit chatted. What I like about this friend of mine is even though he might be busy with his life, at times when he really knew that I needed someone to be there for me he will eventually make the time. Knowing him for many years, forbearance is what he had given to me. My infirmities he knew very well and accepted it.

We talked a lot of things. Mainly his love life, his work and his direction of life. Then talked about myself, my direction of life, my work. Nothing much need to talk about. It is knowing that matters.

that of life is not just about you and me. There are compromising of the other beings. So you decided to move on. There are global issues to take care about. Much bigger and wider picture like child abuse, child trafficking and prostitution. Stuff that not just you and I alone.

Just when you think you have set the mindset clear. As crystal clear as it can be. When we think that way, life hit you with the most unimaginable. It was way beyond my comprehension. Behold!

When you think that life can be so good, even singlehood. Even being alone, single is good enough. That I can survive alone. Without someone.

So I used to think that way until …

someone knocking on my window pane
someone plucking the string of the cello
someone wishes you good night
someone remind you of your meals
someone being angry at you for small thing

and when you had that someone, it is just good enough not to have the whole world but that someone.

Cello

then just when there is someone…

who is opening the door to home
who is playing your favorite song
who is going to wishes you good morning
who is dining with you
who forgive of your everything

you ended with nothing but no one.

What was the best can you imagine when someone miscommunication? I have learned that we need to communicate effectively and efficiently. Sometimes, we tend to talk to much that we failed to listen. Listen to other people. We just wanted to talk everything out but never really bothers about what others had in mind. Am I right or am I just so right?

Today, I think it is to teach me about being a good communicator. This is because the incident happened twice. On the same day! I wonder how it could happened to me. The first incident happened way back some time ago. Just today my boss briefed me about the incident and why it ended up to be a miscommunication.

It happens less than a month back when there was the payment issue pertaining an order. The payment term was “LC 60 Days”. Hence, the LC (known as Letter of Credit) has to be up first before the goods can be delivered. However, after 1-2 weeks ding dong around to get the LC done going through the finance and stuff. Both side, the partner and I managed to pull things through despite the hiccups.

My boss told me this morning that I should have another name like John, Jack or whatever. It makes the partner life easier. The reason being was I was known as LC, abbreviation for my name, minus the family name, Tan. Coincidentally, we used a lot of LC term around even for Cantonese. LC slang for lansi as in cocky. What happened between the partner and me was that each time I chased him for the LC, it was a rush thing.

Furthermore, the account manager whom I dealt with seems blur blur sotong all the time. When his boss asked about LC kaotim already? What he means was that is the Letter of Credit settled? (kaotim is a cantonese term for settle). But the account manager interpret is as me, the real person to settle the things thus he replied to his boss, that it is LC to settle. He is ok. Not knowing the fact that both are not synced about the same matters.

After the boss found out that both are talking about different things, he no longer use LC for Letter of Credit. But instead, the boss would ask the account manager whether the fucking Letter of Credit settled?

And that concludes the first part of the miscommunication issue. The second part of the incident is pretty much a classic. Seriously, it happens to me.

As per today, I watched twice “Quantum of Solace” in a night. First of all, it was due to the vendor invitation to their Partner Appreciation Night along with the sponsor, Fortigate. Held in Mid Valley, the show starts at 8.30pm. Earlier last week, I also promised my friend that I will go with him for movie this Thursday not really knowing what movie. Maybe I was totally ignorant about it. Guess that ignorance is not really a bliss after all. From what I recalled was that I will go and since I am having the earlier session in Mid Valley, it is best that he also planned it to be there.

Since I had additional ticket, I bring a friend to accompany me. After the show, I was sending her home while my friend, Wilson called. He asked if I am on my way? I told him that I will be there sharp at 11.30pm since the shows start at that time. I was on my way back to Mid Valley. By the time the clock ticks 11.30pm, Wilson have yet to show up. I called him up and asked where the hell is him? He concluded that since he will be late and the tickets have yet to be collected, he asked me to collect on behalf of him.

I of course have no issue with it. Then, he added that his friends will call me up to collect the tickets from me. With the reservation code given, I walked up to the reservation counter. Going through the normal standard procedure, I provided the counter attendance the code. It was invalid. Another attempt and finally resorted by checking with his credit card number. It appears to be invalid as well.

Finally, saving me out of the embarrassment Wilson called. He asked that where am I since he had arrived there. I told him I was at the counter there collecting tickets. He said that he had scanned through the counters and I could not be found. He was wondering if I am playing a joke out of him. As we confirm each other, he asked…”Where are you?”

“Mid Valley lar” If not, where else? He said that they are at Pavilion KL. Instantly, so instant that there is no need for 2-minute mee maggi, my facial expression change. It means “oh holy shit, what the fuck!”

As the miscommunication had happened, I can only opt to go all the way from Mid Valley to Pavilion to catch up with them. Luckily I told myself that I did not miss the movie earlier. Hence I can take my own sweet time to go there. Once I reached there, I told Wilson that I am not going to pay for the ticket. I could not be bothered so much about it already. He agree to absorb the ticket and further added he will treat me meal after this.

Since it was pretty late and I believe he will still honor it next time, right Wilson?

In the end, it means that I need to listen carefully and attentively what people might want to say. Do not just say out what you want. But do listen.

On the other hand, as I was driving out from Mid Valley I encountered a bastard driver. When there is 2 lanes become one, usual practise is each lane take turn to go. One car after another. But this guy decided to try his luck getting his way through. Not for me. Not tonight. I squeezed the car in between so near to the vehicle in front. He finally give up. He gave me the “fuck you” look. I just do not give a damn care about. By the way, the guy car plate shows it is belong to PHC xxxx hence it is a Penangites.

Need to sleep. Good night!

…there will be rainbow. That was God promise to mankind. What if it is raining at night? There is not ray of lights for the rainbow to appear. Or when the Sun was covered by the cloud. We would not be seeing any silver lining at all.

Sorry for if it sounded so melancholy but that is the fact at the moment. When was your last time feeling useless? Despite the fact that one can be good at something, yet we cannot defy the law of nature. When it is time to go, we have to fact it. But being still a human being with emotional attached, it is pretty hard to be objective about stuff. Although we might be very objective about certain issues, when it comes to own personal matters we tend to be clouded by our own emotions.

So hope is the only thing we can rely on. I just cannot find mine.

Finally with the submission of the one tender, and another kind of screwed up. I was late for the submission. Pretty late by an hour. It was damnest ever happened to me. My principal screw things up. I had the pricing 40 minutes before the deadline. Just imagine if I can complete everything within 5 min? Plug the pricing, print, burned copies of CD and pack? Come on…. it is pretty much look like a setup.

Let the bygone be bygone. The customer was displeased with the late submission and hence was requested to submit in the letter explaining the reason for the late submission. Have to tell the truth then. What to do? If I were disqualified because of the late issue, then my midnight oil being burnt is totally gone. Wasted for nothing in the end. Two nights staying very late in office just because of these two tenders.

After the submissions, I had many other things to follow up. Looking at the list now, again it gives me the chill. Another round of stressful week ahead. Probably two weeks. With the amount of tasks, I do not think it is pretty straight forward. Too many follow ups and too many minor details thing needed to be completed.

Unable to think very far right now. Too many clouded my mind. Still, today is 31 and there is hefty discount from Baskin Robbins. If only…