Jan 3, 2009

two-ooh-ooh-ate in review

frostier / When Everything Fails / 2008, 2009, life, review / 2 Comments

Truly there are difference when one kept a journal. In my case, a blog per say. Looking at the archives since January 2008 till December 2008 which contains the parallel blog @ frostier.net, I learned that 2008 as it seems yet another year passed.

During the first quarter of the year, things were aplenty to mention about apart from the General Election. Along the way was the Together Gather Party 2008 which failed to kick off due to commitment issues. Glad that it is finally up and running, with new committee members in place.
The second quarter gave me a fair share of shit. At least I painted it this way. I began to undergo what people called it ‘quarter life crisis’. Comparing to some very successful people, I am still nowhere to be found. Am I still searching for my true self, a question that I pose to myself unanswerable?

Tracing back my posts, I realized that I am not a bad writer myself. Through these posts, I rediscover myself and my thought processes. If it not for the blog, I never knew that I had once look at the life and its beauty in this perspective. This is totally awesome. When we recount back the trials we had been through, these phases we might call it, “striving, hurting, missing and even happiness”. Watching the movie In Pursuit of Happyness reminds me that everything in life is just a phase. It is part of the plan.
Still, when today my kheh mak tagged me over the facebook I read the note she left. It was heartwarming post that filled my eyes brim with tears. The love. Her love. Reminds me how I miss his presence at this moment in my life.

And as I go along the archives for 2008, I realized that I make a lot of friends. Online and offline. Far and near. Different kinds of them. I get acquaintance and the bonding starts. I found the brotherly love that I found amiss among my blood brothers. Perhaps the age gap and distance had it between us. This has been a truly blessing in disguise and for the first time, we went out lepaking @ Centro and for the International Extreme Autoshow in Bukit Jalil. Thanks dSaintx.

I have attended funerals, weddings, birthday bashes and even reunion in this 2008. Throughout these events, I reflect it upon myself how I want things to be like. With that, I begin to open up a new chapter of my life. I wanted to start fresh again by dropping off this old hizecool.com blog and move on to frostier.net.

I read books that I never think I would. I found strength and courage; inspirations and determinations. I see myself differently. Whom a person dSaintx keep saying I full of emotions that I am being. Yes, I agreed to the max. With all these in place, I am able to feel hurt, pain and aghast. Nothing can be done but to endure. Only endure.
“Endure, master Bruce. You can take it” – from the Dark Knight

In the final quarter of the year, frostier.net was truly my haven. A few old posts were removed and some minor changes on the outlook of the blog. It was to make it cleaner and simpler. Hence, it is no longer a “crying child” as translated from hizecool but struck it as my own identity. Even that the last week someone over the ucpro commented that my nick sounded gay. Who cares when I have lived with the nick for years?

I was so down that I needed something more to remind me of life is not just about my own personal stuff but rather, the whole. The final quarter of the year had it coming. I had seen it coming and knew it is going to hit me hard. Went on few road trips just to put things behind but I learned that it is not that simple. You still need to face it when you back to reality. It is the same kind of shit. Just different places. At the same time, I had a kick of reality. How to deal with things when it turn out never be perfect? Like the fiasco of hotel booking, submerge in the sand and stuff? That is when we laid back and laugh at own misfortune. It is great to have friends like this. It bring the best and the worst in us. It built characters.

Recounting the days, I turned out to be grumpier and much hostile when the whole turn into the pieces during Ryan and Connie pre-wedding dinner night. It was my birthday that day and it was mid-autumn eve as well. Fairly to say it sticks with me till now. I have to let it go. It seeps into every single cell and killing me softly.

and when you think, the worthy of your causes and how to inspire you to act you need something far more greater, far more bigger. You begin by search within. What happened next is you wanted something for yourself. You owe yourself something. A dramatic life otherwise not even the actors want to be part of it. If Huei you are reading this, yes… camwhore with you if you coming for the next meeting.

As to end the year of 2008, attended Daniel and Jamie wedding dinner on the New Year eve. Everyone I knew barely asked me where am I going to celebrate and ushering the 2009. Simple. With my Latkyoks, we started the 2009 with everyone getting drunk. Bottles of Hennessy VSOP were emptied as the clock ticking strike 12 midnight. I wanted to get wasted so much that I fear of losing control. Knowing that it is not nice having to troubles the brothers to get me home, I contained myself despite the fact that I have all the valid reasons to do so. It was the second time that my request goes unfulfilled. It was my bros big day and there is no ‘I’ agenda that day. Bros come first.

With that the year 2008 has ended. It was a closure which gives me a hanging ending. At least much more better way for 2009 to start with.

The unwritten ones
I recalled the day when I was having a TT with Francis. He asked what my achievements in 2008 were. I told him that I have no idea and probably no achievements since I had no resolutions for 2008.
The best thing is that he had a great view of things. Through him, I came out with some ups and some downs.
the ups
• started to pluck some strings
• getting a much decent means of transportation
• getting the new communication device over from a friend
• get to know more friends – from blogs, utopia and facebook
• able to take more alcohol inside my bloodstream
• more road trips (Cameron, Kuantan)
• minor promotion plus minor increments (have to mention since my ladyboss checking me on my facebook/blog nowadays and hope that she will increase more this year)
• kheh mak adopted me
• managed to read some books (cannot remember how many)
• got my first paycheck from adsense (April 24th)

the downs
• unable to start pirate radio station
• failed to get tgg2 to kick off in 2008
• getting called noob in dota still
• failed in buying a house
• pp, 916 and schemers plan failed

Given the above, I would say Year 2008 is a good year. Not bad but Year 2009 can be better. At least that by looking at it, I knew the ups is more than the downs.
So thanks for everything 2008, and Goodbye.

And Hello 2009!

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